How Wonderful Is It?

Are joy and empathy in competition?

Brief programming note: that headline, “How Wonderful Is It?”, is the headline I would use if I ever wrote my bit on how much I absolutely can’t stand It’s a Wonderful Life¹. But I’m not going to do that, and I’m taking the headline here for something else so that I can’t. Anyway.

The thing I’m thinking about here is this question or discourse that comes up around the holidays, to the effect that for a lot of people the holidays are an emotionally difficult time—often because they’re a challenge for alcoholics who’ve gotten sober, or because many families are dysfunctional.

Every year I see some sort of article or social media post pointing out how the forced cheerfulness of the holiday season can be painful for people for whom the holidays are not in fact a joyful occasion; or for religious (or irreligious) groups who do not celebrate Christmas; or how the parties and gatherings and family dinners can be miserable, anxiety-filled affairs. Etc. etc.

What I wonder is, what are those of us who do love the atmosphere of the American holiday season supposed to do with this information? Is it just griping and venting? Is it just asking for a bit of empathy or awareness of other people’s experiences? Is it asking people to be a little less joyous themselves in solidarity? Is it a kind of lashing out, nothing more than misery loves company?

I don’t mean this rhetorically, to dismiss it. Because while I do find this discourse kind of annoying—it’s all sort of reminiscent of the joke about how communication on the internet goes, “I like cats,” answered “Why do you hate dogs?”—I also wonder whether as a Christian, or a human being, I owe anything in particular to the people who find mass public celebrations painful or difficult or anxiety-inducing.